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focusrite
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Posted: Wed Oct 15th, 2008 10:12 am |
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All hell broke loose what now?
So I posted a thread last week about relaxation techniques. I thought all was well and good. I was looking forward to a busy weekend. I had planned an event for so long and put so much love into it. It was supposed to be a weekend of redemption from a past event in which I wasn’t able to show my full potential. So it was more than an event, I was hoping it would represent change for the better and a brand new me. I had practiced and promoted the event for months. Long story short it was a complete disaster despite all my planning and all my positive thoughts and aligning. People were not feeling it and logistically it fell apart. As each disaster was unfolding I kept on trying to manifest something positive to follow up on it. Trying to recall what I’ve learned from this forum, I told my disappointing thoughts to check itself at the door and I even let go of balloons. Basically I was dumbfounded when the worst case scenarios started unfolding one after another despite all the good feeling thoughts I was sending and had been sending this month.
But something strange came out of this weekend. The day after, I was in such a state of disbelief and dejection that in the midst of explaining the situation to my family, I came out and told them I was gay. I just blurted it out. It was really intense. I had been hiding it for so long. It may have been affecting my overall energy. At first there was denial on their part but eventually they told me that each person has a right to live how they choose to. It was so surprising to me because they had been so religious and strict my whole life that telling them could not be an option. Then the next day, some strange luck started coming to me in the form of a large unexpected cash windfall and now a new job interview for an organization that I’ve been trying to manifest.
I don’t know how to feel, at this moment. At first I was really upset at Abraham. I was trying to do things by the book and for the most part I genuinely felt good about the event, but the opposite happened and I had no control. It was so weird as if what was all unfolding was on its own cruise control but not mine. I could only experience it, took the blows and tried to find something good from it. I didn’t think I’d be able to handle something like this 2x in the same year. I was and still am angry at a person I worked with for dropping the ball.
But strangely, now I feel a sense of stability and peace inside me that I didn’t have before as if there’s a giant picture frame leveler running across my chest keeping things even or perfectly balanced scales. I’ve never felt this before in my life. If you read my other thread, I’m was generally swinging wildly with my emotions from very happy to anxious . So I hope this was the storm. I want to believe so much in LOA and Abraham’s teachings. I just feel quite exhausted from everything that went down and hesitant to keep trying to manifest. I’m soaking it all in. I really want to redeem this event and my talents, that’s the most important to me. Because I know I’m good at what I do. Has anyone else gone through a pivotal all hell breaking loose moment and were things better afterwards?? I feel like I’m in between something , in between 2 worlds. I’m half skeptical- could all this just be logical things playing itself out or is it LOA.. a lot of contrast and a lot of anomilies at the same time!
Love to all  , and sorry for the excessively long post. I could really use some support and words of wisdom right about now to help me make sense of this. 
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Star
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Posted: Wed Oct 15th, 2008 10:23 am |
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Oh yes, and it was the best thing ever. I had this streak of some major crap hitting the fan and it was intense, I loosened all the screws and stuff came flying out. And man, it was Not Good, or so I thought at the time.
But now, in the aftermath, it WAS good. I cleaned up my vibe on a lot of stuff and I finally got my power back. I feel empowered, I feel free. I know that I control my life and that all hell breaking loose in my world helped me regain that knowledge.
Stuff does not happen randomly. Sure, it looks that way a LOT at the time, but when you look back, you see the careful order of all the events.
You have taken a mighty step and I am proud of you 
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london
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Posted: Wed Oct 15th, 2008 10:36 am |
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Congrats on taking such a big step! You have freed yourself.  Go with the flow. You do not have to understand what happened. Enjoy where you are right now! 
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focusrite
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Posted: Wed Oct 15th, 2008 04:58 pm |
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Star, thank you for sharing your experience with me. I have to tell you, as I was reading your post and responding to it. A screw literally sort of jumped sideways and fell off the bottom of my chair ontu the ground and made a loud thud!!!!! Oh my gosh what is going on, ALOT of strange things.
It's reassuring to know someone else has experienced this and come out all good and even better. Perhaps its a cleansing process necessary to move forward from source. I just hope the brunt of it already happened last weekend, I have a feeling it was. I also have another feeling I've never had before. I feel more aligned/connected with myself, as if I am more conscious. I feel heavier in the sense that my mind is more in tune, through my body to the physical environment. Wheras before it felt alot lighter. Did you experience anything like this during your process?
I think it will take some time to understand the meaning of these events as I keep on experiencing these new things..Thanks again for sharing your experience it is definately reassuring.
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focusrite
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Posted: Wed Oct 15th, 2008 05:03 pm |
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Thanks London, I am trying to go with the flow, wait actually it feels like I have no choice, hahah. I wonder what Abraham has to say about this auto pilot feeling. I'm on some kind of ride thats for sure and whether I like it or not things are happening that I can't explain!! I think I'm going to let go of the paddle for a while and just enjoy the process..
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Sealegs
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Posted: Wed Oct 15th, 2008 07:33 pm |
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I read your post earlier and am just now getting a chance to respond after considering what you've written.
First of all, congratulations on coming out! I would imagine that you must have released a huge amount of resistance with that action alone, and whether you feel it yet or not, I hope you will feel great relief from it; you are now more in vibrational alignment to who you truly are, since you are no longer having to hide who you are from the people you love. wow - Allow that relief in!
Another thought - you said that you feel you have "no other choice" but to go with the flow. In many cases, I have found this thru Abe's teachings- that when it's truly a vibrational match, the 'decision' makes you, not you make the decision. This certainly seems to be the case right now for you, and I would keep doing what you're doing and trust that the flow is in the right direction.
And finally, in reference to your event gone wrong dispite all what you feel has been prepaving; what was it that you were wanting to FEEL from this event? Often times, the universe will respond to that feeling how it deems appropriate for you, and it could be that you were attaching meaning to this EVENT as the means to acheive that feeling, when the universe knew otherwise. I'll give you an example of what i mean from my own experience:
I was in a pretty toxic relationship a few months back. I had a nagging feeling of suspicion regarding this person that I often tried to sugar coat with 'happy thoughts, happy thoughts.' What i wanted to FEEL was relief; thinking this relief would be in the form of learning that there was in fact nothing to be suspicious of, that this person/situation would reassure me that any nagging thought was nothing. Ahhh relief, that i thought i'd get by learning i could trust this person. And SOOO not how it went down lol! Instead I stumbled upon some very disturbing information that 'forced' me really, to end the relationship. my hunches were right all along. My point is that my RELIEF is now in THANK GOD (or Abe  ) that I am not in this relationship anymore. It was toxic. It was unhealthy. and I've got my mind back as my own; trusting that Inner being in me that was giving me the uncomfortable nudge long before to FLEE FLEE FLEE. I chose to ignore it, until, well, the decision made me! And i can not tell you how much happier I am now because of it. Surprised all the more that what i wanted to feel, the universe delivered, just in its own unique way.
I see you in a really great place right now - in your vibrational escrow - being more filfilled, more in tune with who you really are, and having a lot more clarity about your wants for yourself
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focusrite
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Posted: Thu Oct 16th, 2008 09:30 am |
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"Abe's teachings- that when it's truly a vibrational match, the 'decision' makes you, not you make the decision." - Right on with that! I know something is definately well aligned. It feels like someone I trust is cleaning my room for me is the best way I can describe it.
Thanks Sealegs, I love your name by the way as I love the ocean. I do feel great relief from coming out. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. At first they were in denial but came around in 10 minutes, and said people should be free to live their life how they want to and completely supported it, which was such a relief!
Slowly but surely I am trying to accept whats unfolding. I truly hope there is a reason for all this that will reveal itself as it has for you and your old relationship. Congrats on leaving the toxic relationship and finding relief. Thats so so wonderful. Thats what I want to fully achieve.
I only wish that this did not signify I am to leave my art behind. I hope that will be revealed soon. I wonder when autopilot comes off..and my room is cleaned..Because i love art its my passion, the only thing I feel talented and natural in having done it from the age of 5. Much love, and thanks for your encouragement through this whole process, its much appreciated! 
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suncat11
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Posted: Thu Oct 16th, 2008 12:09 pm |
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Focusrite - thank you so much for posting this - what an amazing and wonderfully decribed picture of LOA in Action! You are an Inspiration - Thank You Again
Love and Hugs
Suncat
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Sanne
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Posted: Thu Oct 16th, 2008 12:42 pm |
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Hi Focusrite!
How wonderful that this all led to you coming out and getting much better response than you were expecting! Telling your family this brings you close to being your true self, and I believe that's really what it's all about eventually. Being yourself, loving yourself, knowing you are worthy. And I think you 'cleaned up' some of the resistance in you by doing this.
I notice that since I'm into spirituality a lot more, and learning to find my own way in this, a lot of situations unfold in a way where I later say 'Yes, that was so logical'. Maybe at the moment I don't see it, but when I take in a broader perspective I understand why certain things happen.
I've been to 'all hell breaks loose' as well, and after that things got so much more clear. I got more insight in my vibration, and why I attracted certain things. The thing that I mostly learned from it, was to appreciate my NOW, and stop living in the past or the future. And I think that because you told your family that you are gay, that shows that you definitely gained something from this experience.
Things will only get better from here on.
Much love
Sanne
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lifeisgood
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Posted: Thu Oct 16th, 2008 12:42 pm |
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Focusrite, I have experienced an "all hell broke loose" occasion when I thought that I was following Abraham teachings to the letter. On the surface it was an absolutely horrible experience. First thing I noticed was that I was able to identify some positive aspects to the situation meaning that it could have been even worse. The second thing that was revealed to me was that there were a couple of habits that I had that were totally inconsistant with the vision of myself that I was creating with my thoughts. This inconsistancy between my thoughts/desires and my actions was causing a contradiction in my vibrational alignment. Also these actions/behaviors could have eventually damaged my health and my marraige. I am so thankful that the "horrible " experience opened my eyes to this and there has been a powerful change. The following Abraham quote was very helpful: "there is nothing that you can do that is worse for yourself, than to do something that you to believe is inappropriate. And so, get clear and happy about whichever choice you make. Because it is your contradiction that causes the majority of the contradiction in vibration." Abraham 1999
All the best,
Jerry
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Everlilly
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Posted: Thu Oct 16th, 2008 01:56 pm |
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Hi Focusrite,
I remember Jerry Hicks telling about a moment in his life where all hell broke loose on the Secret Behind The Secret dvd. Everything went wrong, everything that was important to him hit an all time low - finances, relationship etc. He had just received a phone call and then he realised 'this is it', he had lost everything he had. And in this same moment, something wonderous happened. He started feeling a tingling sensation coming up through his feet, stretching out into his whole body. As if you had just opened a champagne bottle and the bubbles start moving their way up. And he started feeling the most intense feeling of joy. And this feeling of joy, this constant high lasted for about a year or two. Everywhere he went this feeling of joy was contageous and people were being inspired to offer him businesses, friendships, and everything was better than ever before. Abraham explained that when Jerry hit the lowest point and realised that he had just lost everything, he also lost his resistance. And in one fell swoop he started allowing well being to flood in. And oh boy how delicious it was. And after a while he met Esther and the rest is history.
Sounds like you are also letting go of resistance and going with your flow... I loved how you described that a screw litteraly fell down. Go go go! Sounds like you have a fast stream flowing, and that universe is providing you with evidence of your well being. It's nice that you are unwinding more, basking more, being your gay self more (no pun intended ). You are doing very well!
I would like to hear more about your unique talents and how good you are at them. And how you like doing what you do.
Eliane
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feelings
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Posted: Thu Oct 16th, 2008 02:47 pm |
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Hi
this is my first time on the forum,I just want to tell u that I m in a toxic relationship too, but I feel trapped because if I leave I have to survive on very little money. I m not sure if I can. What am I suppose to do? Send many many many
about money, relationships, health but all hell brakes loose with everything.
our arguments are so mean now. I dont want to be like that anymore, I m usually very sweet, what happend?l Am I drowning?
Last edited on Thu Oct 16th, 2008 02:57 pm by feelings
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Richann
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Posted: Thu Oct 16th, 2008 04:35 pm |
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The guidance I am getting from my IB on this topic "All Hell Breaking Loose" and even to a lesser degree of contrasting experiences is to FEEL our way through it rather than think or analyze or understand or micromanage it, being in our powerful NOW and utilizing our emotional guidance system and just reaching for the feeling. That's the answer. And then we allow clarity, understanding, guidance and this statement that others here have said and which keeps popping up in my experience/reality THE DECISION MAKES YOU, rather than you making a decision. And the decision making you is in COMPLETE alignment with all that you want, your intentions, your preferences, your beliefs, your path of least resistance and it's easy without struggle without "trying" to raise your vibration, or going downstream.
Have fun with it. Be easy about it.
RICHann
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focusrite
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Posted: Fri Oct 17th, 2008 05:27 am |
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Wow, I don’t know where to begin.  First of all I want to thank you all for your responses suncat11, sanne, lifeisgood, everlilly, and richann!! I feel so much love for all of you. I’m glad my post has been inspirational and I feel such a great sense of relief to hear your own hell breaking loose moments and the positive life changes that has come from them. Yay I am not alone in this!
“The descision makes you” has popped up a few times in your answers and I’m starting to understand how that relates to my “why am I on autopilot?” question. I think since turning on to Abraham a month ago, I made a conscious decision and a commitment to make a positive change in my life in the way I feel and to reach for alignment. This must be a reflection of that. Everything is being reordered in a Major way. Woah..WOAH!! Ok, I am absolutely accepting it, living in the NOW. Got a new job interview coming up and a first date next week and I just decided the cash windfall I got will be going towards a new artistic venture. I feel like a.. newborn. Wow…all I can do is laugh right NOW.  What a week!
And to “feelings”, welcome to the forum! This is certainly a wonderful place with such supportive people as I’ve learned. I’m quite new too.. Maybe you should make a brand new post explaining your situation with your relationship in detail so people will understand better and be able to respond.
Much Love,
~Focusrite
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