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Oceanturquoiseblue
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 21st, 2008 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 405 |
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Posted: Mon Apr 21st, 2008 03:57 pm |
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Hi!
Oceanturquoiseblue is a bit of a mouthful, but it was my username on the Yahoo list a year or so back, so I thought I'd stick with it. I had some enlightening experiences on that list and then it was just time to sign off for a while...
Recently, I've been reading some fantastic posts on this forum and couldn't keep quiet any longer!
Warm wishes,
Vicky.
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Oceanturquoiseblue
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 21st, 2008 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 405 |
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Posted: Mon Apr 21st, 2008 07:03 pm |
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Oh dear... I've just realised what a dry and resistant introduction I wrote.
...Got to word it just right! ...Mustn't give any of myself away! [Or even give any of myself??] ...Play it down. ...Be cool! [i.e. acceptable] ...Keep my distance! YIKES!
Now I'm wondering if this is how I've been approaching groups (virtual and in person). Approaching life. Approaching how I see myself.
So, I'm going to take a risk... I'm Vicky. I live in the UK. I've been conscious of AbeHicks teachings for about 3 years now and exploring alternative (spiritual and mental) perspectives for even longer.
...And I just realised that it's time I allow myself to be free to be me! 
It's time I put myself out there. (Ouch, voice of habit trying to warn me off)
Now, I'm applying for unconditional release.
I don't know who I'll be.
Which makes it kinda difficult to introduce myself! ::handwaving
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New Dawn Rising
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Posted: Mon Apr 21st, 2008 09:00 pm |
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Oceanturquoiseblue wrote: ...Got to word it just right! ...Mustn't give any of myself away! [Or even give any of myself??] ...Play it down. ...Be cool! [i.e. acceptable] ...Keep my distance! YIKES!
You aren't the only one! I do that crap sometimes too. Ridiculous isn't it? Us humans are sure funny.
I like your name Oceanturquoiseblue... conjures up a nice visual in my mind. And I like your avatar too - very pretty. 
Like you, I've been into Abe-Hicks for about 3 years. And other alternative spiritual/mental explorations also. Isn't it fun?
 Welcome Vicky!
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Oceanturquoiseblue
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 21st, 2008 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
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Posted: Mon Apr 21st, 2008 10:27 pm |
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Thank you New Dawn Rising.
Great to be here! 
Vicky
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Sunshine Spirit
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Posted: Mon Apr 21st, 2008 11:11 pm |
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Oceanturquoiseblue wrote: ...And I just realised that it's time I allow myself to be free to be me!
It's time I put myself out there. (Ouch, voice of habit trying to warn me off)
Now, I'm applying for unconditional release.
I don't know who I'll be.
Which makes it kinda difficult to introduce myself! ::handwaving
 Vicki
This part of your post gave me thrillbumps. You go girl.
Welcome and lets play.
 Love Anni
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Oceanturquoiseblue
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 21st, 2008 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
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Posted: Tue Apr 22nd, 2008 03:18 pm |
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Hi Anni!
I woke this morning panicking a little about what I wrote. It felt uncomfortable...
..until I redefined it as unfamiliar. It's a good thing! It means I'm going in a new direction.
I get quotes emailed every weekday and today's included this
"Life is a playground"
...I'm going on the slide first!
HUGS Vicky
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Better Every Day
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Posted: Wed Apr 23rd, 2008 04:12 am |
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It's OK (you know it is).
This is what we do. We want so badly to be accepted that sometimes we just don't let our wonderfulness shine through. Sometimes I am super envious (in a happy good way) of the people that meet people virtually (through a forum) then have the "nerve" to meet in person and become great friends. There are many on this forum. I so loved living vicariously reading about the Natty Dread/Tara/Carol visit a couple of months ago. For me there is a safety in writing, and NOT meeting in person. I know that there are probably so many people on this forum who I could be best friends with, but the idea of (heaven forbid) meeting them in person for the first time petrifies me.
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Oceanturquoiseblue
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| Joined: | Mon Apr 21st, 2008 |
| Location: | United Kingdom |
| Posts: | 405 |
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Posted: Wed Apr 23rd, 2008 03:38 pm |
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Hi Better Every Day
Thanks for that... for reminding me that I'm human and one of many. 
I read the words of someone online (can't bring to mind his name) who wrote something like:
"I realised that 'singing my own song', is the way to truly belong"
What you wrote about "wonderfulness shining through" is telling me that again, I think. If you try too hard to hide things about yourself that you think may not appeal to others or if you try too hard to be something you're not in order to please others or protect yourself -- then you are just dimming your own light.
Hhmm, be yourself in order to fit in! Radical stuff, but I have seen the proof of it in others.
So, why do I struggle with it? I really think it's that I don't like who I am. Interesting... It's getting me thinking about my dominant vibe.
I think it's fine just to meet up with people online if that's what feels good. Besides, it might be that en masse we've created this way to connect with others without some of the old judgements and insecurities getting in the way.
Maybe we're paving the way online for better connections offline.
Really glad to meet you here, ::handwaving
HUGS Vicky.
P.S. It's funny, but your first words "It's OK" feel like two of the most powerful I've heard in a while.
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jcsu
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| Joined: | Tue Mar 25th, 2008 |
| Location: | Davenport, Iowa USA |
| Posts: | 49 |
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Posted: Thu Apr 24th, 2008 08:44 pm |
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oceanturquioseblue....VICKY!
i am glad i found your thread here....(thanks for your kind words in your message today...meant a lot!)
anyway...when i heard Abraham say one time...i forget where...
"you should NEVER give a RIP what others think"....
WHEN I HEARD THAT.....i just wanted to jump up and down...OR do a jolly little frog kick....like this;
because i LOVED that phrase! i have USED that idea for years, but never called "it" anything that FUN!
anyway....maybe you, too....will stop giving A RIP....as you "dance along" in your lovely life.
maybe you are more of a;
or a HAPPY ONE of THESE TYPES!
hee-hee....all pretty FUN watching them dancing around eh?
namaste, jcsu
Last edited on Fri Apr 25th, 2008 01:56 pm by jcsu
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pamdepaix
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Posted: Fri Apr 25th, 2008 12:20 am |
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Hi vicky - i love your posts here on the intro - you are setting a real example do you know ?
I love the vulnerability you show and your insight into opening up . Must be an english thing this guardedness - me too , i was raised in england very old school style and over the years i have overcome my stiff upper lip lots !!
love ya vickie !.... and dont ever wake up worrying about what youve posted here . Your sweet nature is shining brightly next to that bushel !!
pam    
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Oceanturquoiseblue
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Posted: Fri Apr 25th, 2008 12:29 am |
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Pam,
What a lovely message , thank you so much.
It's a really welcome sign that I'm raising my vibe.
Thanks for taking the time.
HUGS Vicky
Also, I love that I discovered it at 1.22am! (I do keep meaning to go to bed!)
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Jebber99
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| Joined: | Tue Sep 25th, 2007 |
| Location: | Houston, Texas USA |
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Posted: Fri Apr 25th, 2008 07:57 pm |
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Hi Vicky. It's spring and that is the time all of the plants sleeping in the ground wake up to the bright sunlight and bloom into beautiful flowers. I feel like that is what you are doing.....blooming into your beautiful self.  Leave all that old junk behind and do what feels right. Then you will truly shine.
I love your forum name. TourquoiseOceanBlue........I'll never ever forget the feeling I got the first time I stared into the ocean. I got lost in the beautiful layers of color. I was pregnant with my son then. 25 years later I had the pleasure of standing next to him when he got his first glimpse of that beauty. We were on a cruise. It had been night time when we went off shore. The next morning I was standing against the rail gazing into the deep blue sea when he walked up to me. He looked into the water and it too took his breath away. I found it to be one of those special moments in life. I could remember seeing it my first time when I was pregnant with him and then sharing his first time with him. It is an amazing memory. Everytime I read your name I think about it again and smile. Thank you for giving me that,.
Hugs.
janice
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Oceanturquoiseblue
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Posted: Fri Apr 25th, 2008 08:41 pm |
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I'm really touched, Janice.
I love being by the water.
Thank you for sharing your story.
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GodEss
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Posted: Fri Apr 25th, 2008 11:23 pm |
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Just read and loved your post. Welcome Vicky there is much love for you here.
GodEss xx
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Oceanturquoiseblue
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Posted: Fri Apr 25th, 2008 11:31 pm |
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GodEss
How did you know that was ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY COMPLETELY what I needed to read right this moment!
Thank you, thank you.
HUGS Vicky
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