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Abraham-Hicks Discussion > Forums > Practicing the Teachings > 129 days until I apply to Art School...

129 days until I apply to Art School...
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mysticalcreator
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Joined: Wed Feb 13th, 2008
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 Posted: Fri Jul 30th, 2010 04:33 pm
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tiffany blue wrote:
except take compelling photos. And that hurts. My dream, my ideal is to take photographs that EVOKE something. Photos that draw emotion out of people. And right now I'm taking stupid photos of puppies and flowers. My photographs scream scream scream "amateur!!!". I saw the scholarship worthy photos and you know what? I can't do that. I just can't. I don't take photos like that. THEIR photos make you curious and inquisitive and draw you in in in. Mine go "Oh, hey I'm a photo. Go look at something cooler than me cause you can find this anywhere"

Focus wheel feels out of the vortex. Right now all I want to do is sort of cry and rethink my life. Yep. Sounds good.


You certainly can take whatever photos you want to take. Tell a different story. "All my photos are scholarship worthy. I have inspiration at my fingertips. I simply point my camera and source flows through me and I cannot help but take evocative gorgeous professional photography. I love the photos I take."

I promise it works. I used the same sorts of mantras with my own artistic abilities.

Great quote for inspiration:

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.

-Martha Graham

 

 

tiffany blue
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 Posted: Sat Jul 31st, 2010 05:36 am
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So today I left. But it's the best goodbye I've ever had. The past 3 weeks sparked in my a flame that was just licking at the air. Now it's big and bursting and spilling into my every thought. I just want to create stuff. I want to draw. I want to paint. I want to take photographs and set up shoots. I want to do crazy collages and installation pieces. I mean seeing how proud and encouraging my teachers were was amazing. One even called me "fabulous". I can't stop here. I was so out of the vortex and now I can't even imagine giving up. It's just not an option anymore. My parents viewed my work and they were wowed but they were truly stunned at the passion and vivacity in my voice as I recounted stories of art school and creation and the process of building a painting and it was just...wow.

I almost don't recognize who I've become. A few weeks ago I was timid about my work. Hell, yesterday I was timid about my work. Today looking at all the stuff in the gallery and how many styles there are and finding value in every single one...it inspired me. I can't contain the artist in me anymore. Before it was something I "did". It was what I did when homework and work and cleaning was done. Now it's something I am. When I'm not occupied I'm thinking of paintings. When I'm listening to music I'm thinking of a perfect composition to go with it. When I'm dozing off to sleep I'm thinking of the next photoshoot I want to set up.

It's like...expansion. There's no way I can describe it. I literally have become MORE than I was...but I'm me. But more. This life is just an absolutely baffling thing. I'm getting into the vortex about my art no matter what. It's an irrevocable part of me now.

tiffany blue
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 Posted: Sun Aug 1st, 2010 02:30 am
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Today it was so interesting. As I awoke I was lost about how to even begin my "old life". And that's where I slammed on the breaks. "Old life"? AS IF! After expansion everyone expects us to go into our old life. Slide back into that mold and be content with being discontent.

But not me! I finally understand that there is no such thing as "going back". At all. Things will never be how they used to be. Things are always inspiring me and I'm always growing. I feel like the past few weeks I kept trying to figure out how NEW things would fit into my OLD life. And I'm happy to say that they won't. They won't fit. That's the beauty of it all. Life is all ebb and flow and in and out and motion and evolving and its just like...eternal. I'm understanding WHY we're eternal now. It never stops. And it's our choice, or not, to get with it and keep up. I really wanna keep up. That's going to be my new motto, keep up!

I'm starting to re-comprehend the basics again. It's wonderful how cyclical it all is.

Evey
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 Posted: Sun Aug 1st, 2010 02:45 am
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Are you a Libra by any chance?::devil I was great at math, great at science, great at Lit, great at what ever subject i choose and it did not help me feel worthy...none of that really matters. What matters is what you are Passionate about and feeling that and following that. What matters is learning to use and appreciate your EGS. What matters is you learning to Allow others and seeing them as the brilliant beings they are and seeing that (yes even if they are slobs and like beer) they are amazing people no matter how they perform.

You are becoming and Amazing Creator and it is just wonderful to see that! 

tiffany blue
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 Posted: Wed Aug 4th, 2010 07:04 pm
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Wow, I'm not sure what happened but my forum wasn't working for a bit! Oh well.

I'm at 119 now and I'm feeling really, truly good. Not freakin' amazing yet, but good. I'm home. I love the feeling of it. I love knowing that I have about 10 photoshoots planned that are innovative and completely compelling. I love knowing that everything always turns out. I went back to doing my gratitude book last night, it just balances my life. It's been too easy to complain in the past week and I want to get back to gratitude. After writing in it, I sent this text message to my sister. (All my best thinking comes at night...)

"You know what I realized? No matter what muck and mire I trudge through, today's dreams always become tomorrow's reality. Always. Never have I ever been let down. IT makes all the problems seem so small knowing that someday soon, the problem will be forgotten in the daily comfort in the actualized solution. Life really is a beautiful, blossoming adventure that's coordinated so seamlessly that we we forget we're the one planting the seeds."

And I mean every word of that. So yeah, I count the past few days as great ones.

tiffany blue
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 Posted: Fri Aug 6th, 2010 09:02 pm
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Not sure why I forgot yesterday...but it doesn't really matter. I'm getting the itch. Last night I took pictures of sea ceature sily bands and blue dishwater. It was interesting but I wasn't quite sure how to make it POP. Today I dreamt of murals and paintings during my nap. I think tommorw I'll begin to plan the painting I've been dreaming about- it's to go on my ceiling. And I'll text my friend to see if I can use her Barbies for a bit of a controversial photoshoot...heheheh.

It's nice to feel INCLUSIVE about the artist in me. It's becoming less of "the artist in" and more just...ME. I"m excited to go to work and see what gets conjured up...some of my best inspiration comes from the narrow aisles of that drug store.

::LOL

tiffany blue
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 Posted: Sun Aug 8th, 2010 04:38 am
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I made an amazing composition of 3 photos today. They're fun to look at, they're engaging, and I'm just so, so proud. One of them is my avatar :) This is working! Go vortex, go vortex!

tiffany blue
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 Posted: Mon Aug 9th, 2010 05:21 am
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Today was interesting. I worked 7 am to 3 pm for the first time, ever. I took a nap all afternoon. I walked my dog and felt amazing in my body. But I did something more important than that: I realized what I really want. It's funny, I always thought I wanted a large house with a fast car and a husband and all the things you see on TV. Now, I'm realizing part of my integral creativity for life means I want to CREATE it all.

I want a studio apartment with a brick wall and wood floors. And big windows, with brushed steel panes that look over the city skyline. I want a chihuahua or a dachshund who is well trained and that I can take everywhere with me. I want to wake up at 9 and read a good book over a steaming cup of tea and a bagel or some pancakes. I don't necessarily want to get married- I just want to feel good in whatever relationship I have. I want to spend my days at a studio gessoing and photographing and drawing and creating. I want to sell my work through a private dealer and enjoy the knowledge that my work has become a part of someone's life. I want to live abundantly enough to enjoy the things I want, but I don't need extra extra extra. I'm amazed. It's so different from how I painted my life, but it's a perfect picture for me.

CreatorChristine
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 Posted: Mon Aug 9th, 2010 11:15 am
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tiffany blue wrote: I want a chihuahua or a dachshund who is well trained and that I can take everywhere with me.
Tiffany, you are just SUCH a delightful and inspiring young woman, on all counts! ::singer

Doxies are some of the greatest dogs on God's green earth - I LOOOOOVE them! And if you want a study in pure determination and self-confidence, they are the very BEST teachers! But they also epitomize the concept of dedication to self, independence, and non-conformity that Abraham teach - so good luck with the "training". :)
Dachshunds are so lovably uncontrollable. They know exactly what they want and will not be deterred. They almost never aim to please. Unless they're in the mood to play "good doggie". ::LOL  They REALLY teach unconditional love! Oh, my heart is swelling with joy at the memories I have of our dachshunds! aniheart

That's not to say you can't evoke "pleasing" behavior from them. It just takes some SERIOUS alignment from day one! ::LOL

I am so enjoying your thread here. ::TU
Christine





PS: Did anybody else see that happy trio of dachshunds that just hurtled into my escrow? ::LOL Joining the numerous whippets already congregated there? ::ghost I've been sooooo basking in the doggie memories since first writing this post, it just HAS to manifest! ::woohoo (Sorry for being off-topic, but it HAD to come out! ::TU)

Last edited on Mon Aug 9th, 2010 02:50 pm by CreatorChristine

LOVING LIFE 118
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 Posted: Tue Aug 10th, 2010 01:24 am
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Tiffany ..just wanna thank u so much...I'll be starting my masters in less than 4 weeks now...and it helps me read your posts..though i have already asked for a completely easy and fun way of learning whenever this worry comes up i just ignore it that Me getting this admission on my terms already makes me a Vibrational match to this course that means i am ready I am..and when we are ready then things automatically fall into place..i cannot even begin to say how I got selected and am going to start school everything on my terms!!::wow::wowWe all are amazing creators..and we all will eventually get there..Abe's teachings are helping us to enjoy this journey..to be more joyful..to trust in ourselves and in this magnificent Universe.

All is Well..

tiffany blue
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 Posted: Tue Aug 10th, 2010 05:09 am
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Cristine, nothing is off topic. It's hilarious that you joke about the adamancy of dachshunds. I have a chihuahua that I can only suggest to. I don't really want him to listen to me. We come together out of pure love and appreciation for each other. Every time I look at him, my heart soars because he's perfect. I think a dachshund would fit amazingly into the mix; maybe they could be friends! :)

Loving Life, I agree completely! We want these admissions because they were practically MADE for us. It's such driftwood that you're from my city of choice: I love new york as if it was an actual person. It's amazing! And I look forward to a time about a 100 days from now when I tell you guys "GUESS WHAT! I just applied and it felt great!". The process is so fun, I know the growth now is going to set me up for alignment in future, tougher situations.

tiffany blue
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 Posted: Sun Aug 15th, 2010 04:06 am
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Well today makes 109 days until my application is due. In addition to watching some corny teen movie and recieving my schedule, I went on the website to see when exactly all my stuff is due and I started freaking out JUST a bit.

But then I remembered. My teachers called me fabulous. I really want to go to this school, which means a lot of desire + sufficient allowing/feeling good= ONE HAPPY TIFFANY!

Plus, I got this cool idea to just take the strongest emotion of that day and express it in a photo. Right now I'm trying to capture frustration and excitement all in one. I think I may need fake eye drops and a sharpie...

In general, I'm hopeful at my highest and overwhelmed at my lowest. I'm more at hopeful than anything else. And I'm just sort of excited.


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