Abraham-Hicks Discussion Home
 Search       Members   Calendar   Help   Home 
Search by username
Not logged in - Login | Register 
Abraham-Hicks Discussion > Forums > Practicing the Teachings > 129 days until I apply to Art School...

129 days until I apply to Art School...
 Moderated by: Marc, Leslie, David1  
 New Topic   Reply   Print 
AuthorPost
tiffany blue
Member
 

Joined: Sun Nov 30th, 2008
Location: My Own Little World, USA
Posts: 577
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Sun Jul 25th, 2010 05:41 pm
 Quote  Reply 
Last week, I got a portfolio review from my #1 school of choice. The review went...less than beautifully...and it reflected my place of alignment on the topic! At first I was truly upset, playing into the dramatics of "oh, I'll never be an artist, I knew I wasn't good enough, whatever will I do?" but I went to the park for an hour, wrote a bit about it, and I decided this thread would be the PERFECT place to come into alignment.

I have 129 days from today until I'm applying for art school- December 1st, 2010. And I honestly don't have any physical, action oriented goals besides take a picture every day. But I do have a great vibrational goal. I want to improve my vibration to the point where I feel comfortable applying!

tiffany blue
Member
 

Joined: Sun Nov 30th, 2008
Location: My Own Little World, USA
Posts: 577
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Sun Jul 25th, 2010 05:48 pm
 Quote  Reply 
I'm not doing any formal format, I'm just gonna let my thoughts flow for five minute intervals, maybe once or twice a day, but that's about it.

I'm glad I'm here at the school now; it really increased my desire a lot. I love love love it here. It really resonates with what I want from college. There's a lot of variety and it's just amazing being around so many people who are so different from me. I'm only here for the "PRE" college part...imagine what it'd be like to be here on a regular basis. I'm loving the city, too. It's breath-taking and has so much life.

It doesn't feel good to think that my intelligence has no value here. I was born with a perfect combination of creativity and linear intellligence. Imagine an artist that can think like the masses then kick that idea out of the box and turn it on its head. I think I could be that artist. There are tons of smart artists that choose a lot of subject matter, I can choose what I want. Even my teacher said you can't teach art. When I'm in alignment with my work, it comes out beautifully and is received as such. Just like that planet X one, wehre I went crazy and had tons of fun. That was pure creative me. The more I think about what art "should" be the more I see that there's no should in art.

That's why I chose the art field. There's no rules. No regulations. There's a dot on a canvas that's worth millions of dollars. I could do something even more incredible than that and make great money doing whwat I love.

I'm a visionary, with a killer ambition. I work out of alignment only and get amazing results from it. Maybe that'll give me an "edge". Imagine if I could capture tons of beautiful concepts and images from the vortex. It'd be easy perfection.

Maybe I don't ...

DING! TImer went off. Ta ta for now...

Evey
Member


Joined: Fri Aug 7th, 2009
Location: Orlando, Florida USA
Posts: 2666
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Sun Jul 25th, 2010 07:27 pm
 Quote  Reply 
::stardustI am  gonna lurk this thread! ::stardust::stardust::cool::stardust

tiffany blue
Member
 

Joined: Sun Nov 30th, 2008
Location: My Own Little World, USA
Posts: 577
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Mon Jul 26th, 2010 12:02 am
 Quote  Reply 
Oh no, here I go on this bollocks rampage again of "I'm not good enough, my photos look nothing like theirs, maybe I don't deserve to go to art school, I'm not all twisty and moody and mega artistic like them".

F**K THAT. I'm so sick of feeling like not enough I could throw up. I really could. I'm here. I deserve to have whatever the hell I want. I'm gonna make a list of why I deserve to go to art school...damnit.

I've had talent since I was young.
I respect almost every form of art...it all sort of speaks to me in different ways.
I'm incredibly empathetic- I feeeeeel what others feeeeeel when I let my guard down.
When I let that guard down the things I can hint at are beautiful.
There are so many self-created artists out there, I could probably skip art school and through my own alignment with source become an amazing artists.
I KNOW THE SECRET TO LIFE: It's all a game. Life is just an amazing mind-playground. I don't have to get bogged down with everyone else's game. I can create my own game.
I'm hardworking. I know this is like very against the ease of letting it in, but that's how my "hard work" works. The hardest thing for me to do is let the work in and let it envelop me in it's own creation. I can do that. I really can.
The world is just waiting for me to rediscover it.
No one has this unique perspective that I do.
I love love love being here. I'd appreciate the hell out of this school, lmao.
I know that you can't teach art. But I think the contrast that I'd drift through while I'm here would be fabulously beautiful. I'd become an amazing person.
I can SEE like that. I'm not like "oh I want the fame"...I want the EXPANSION. I want the very beautiful base of all this.


You know what? Maybe I can turn this whole thing into a journey of photography. In 129 perhaps I could get 129 photos, or more, that chronicle my trying to get into art school. It'd be a funny portfolio. Right now I just want to capture that gut-wrenching rebellion that comes from comparison.

I didn't come here to compare with anything but my guidance. That's why I felt so bad looking at other people's work. Not because of the work, but because my thoughts went automatically to inferiority. I'm not inferior. As an artist there's no such thing. Every piece of art is a bit of soul coming out in some medium. No one's soul is inferior. It's part of a whole.

Maybe I don't have to look at myself to "MAKE" this art. That sounds so...ew. Contrasty. I want to allow this art. I want to nurture it. I want this art to just BE here and I want to be that lucky girl that squeezes out of it the perfect image in 10 megapixels.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I think just going to take a photo now would be amazing. I mean, it's a photo. I can take endless photos. it's disgusting outside and there's just so much contrast for me to chronicle.

This has the potential to yield the best photographs. The balance of contrast and release. Contrast, release. I can do this. I LIVE this everyday. Instead of just living it, I'll be living it and photographing it at the same time. I love this idea.

I feel kind of done here. It's been past 5 mins but that's perfectly okay. I'm done.

mysticalcreator
Member


Joined: Wed Feb 13th, 2008
Location: New York City
Posts: 1538
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Mon Jul 26th, 2010 01:01 am
 Quote  Reply 
I love following this thread because I really relate with so much of what you're saying. And this part made me laugh:

 "I'm not good enough, my photos look nothing like theirs, maybe I don't deserve to go to art school, I'm not all twisty and moody and mega artistic like them".


I promise it's totally a limited belief that those artists have: the idea that to be an artist you must be struggling/suffering/depressed. NOT TRUE.

And talent is also b.s. I used to SUCK SUCK SUCK at acting. Seriously suck bad. Like really REALLY really bad. Then I learned to visualize that I was good. I found a teacher who helped me to believe that I could learn to be good. And the journey was fun at that school. And I have become really really talented. I have mantras that I say about how talented I am. I visualize before I act that I'm amazing. And guess what? That has become my reality.

So, I just wanted to put that out there because it sounds like you are concerned about your talent. But you are no different from Picasso. You both have the same basic biological makeup.  So what made Picasso "Picasso?" He simply allowed that "talent." You can too. I promise.

:kiss::beautiful:

Last edited on Mon Jul 26th, 2010 01:02 am by mysticalcreator

mysticalcreator
Member


Joined: Wed Feb 13th, 2008
Location: New York City
Posts: 1538
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Mon Jul 26th, 2010 01:14 am
 Quote  Reply 
Also, I think some of the really amazing photographers are amazing because they bring their appreciation to their pictures. They see a garbage can on the street, but they see it through the eyes of source, and capture it in a picture. Suddenly that garbage can is art because that artist felt appreciation from the vortex for that garbage can.

Art from in the vortex. I think that's what many of the great artists did. Even when they were painting something sad, they were appreciating the variety of life.

Fireball
Member
 

Joined: Mon Feb 22nd, 2010
Location:  
Posts: 453
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Mon Jul 26th, 2010 09:13 pm
 Quote  Reply 
I was reminded of this quote when I read your posts Tiffany Blue.

"And you will begin to proclaim to people as they say, “What do you do?”

 “Hardly anything. I hardly do anything.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I used to do a lot and I used to work really hard and I still go through the motions of some of that because if I don’t show up, they don’t pay me, but what I really do is watch for glimmering, shimmering little snatches of evidence that I’m in the Vortex and then I give my undivided attention to that with the express and singular purpose of training myself into the frequency of true leverage and true power and true worthiness and true knowing and true creation. That’s what I do.”

And if you look around your world, you see the writers of songs that have last through the ages – that’s what they did. They found a little bit of that and it lasted them a really really really really long time. When you see something that someone created that has lasted, whether it is a business, whether it is a structure, whether it is a sculpture, whether it is a work of art, whether it is a body of work, when something lasts, it is because someone was in tune with the energy of leverage long enough that it got a really good start."

Boston 6/5/10


tiffany blue
Member
 

Joined: Sun Nov 30th, 2008
Location: My Own Little World, USA
Posts: 577
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Mon Jul 26th, 2010 11:52 pm
 Quote  Reply 
That's such a true perspective, Mystical Creator. It feels wonderful to hear it from another artist!
Fireball, that quote executes beautifully what I'm wanting to do right now.

I'm truly glad today happened. I mean 100% of my art class today was a learning process. and it was beautiful. I mean I learned how to grid out sections on a mural, which is a lot more difficult than it seems when you involve the beautiful architecture. I learned about creating depth and moving the viewer's eye around a space and it was beautiful. I'd love to include that in my photography.

In painting class I learned how to completely pile on gobs of horrible paint and hate my work and relax it into something. Even if it wasn't something absolutely beautiful, it was something that showed sensitivity and thought. I'm proud that I perservered through my negativity and emerged with more positive thoughts. It was great seeing how...well...fixable everything was.

And I absolutely love love loved falling in love today. Well I count EVERYTHING as falling in love, but this was a movie moment. I was walking back from lunch with a group of classmates when the guy from the art supply store was outside grabbing a quick cigarette. He was leaned against the wall, one leg on the building, flicking the ash off the end of a cigarette, when he looked up through his aviator sunglasses and grinned at me and gave me a "hey I remember you, how are you?" nod. I smiled back, hesitated like I was about to stop and talk with him, but didn't due to a flood of "what would I say!?!?".
It was sooo a la James Dean that I could have died satisfied. I've felt amazing things about this guy from the beginning but have never done much besides chatted him up a bit. I'm excited for life to let this evolve into a beautiful encounter.

Also, I'm proud of myself for having accepted a smoker. I realized that I don't really care if my guy smokes, it's his health, not mine. As long as our kisses are long, slow, and minty...I don't care.

It didn't have directly to do with art 100% but every second I spent happy was a success today and I want to just really acknowledge and say "YOU GO GIRL!" for that.

Leslie
Super Moderator


Joined: Sun Sep 23rd, 2007
Location: Like A Rolling Stone
Posts: 2143
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Tue Jul 27th, 2010 02:09 am
 Quote  Reply 
tiffany blue wrote: every second I spent happy was a success today and I want to just really acknowledge and say "YOU GO GIRL!" for that.

I agree--YOU GO GIRL! Can I get an 'Amen?' :)

I LOVE this idea!  Every second I spend happy is a success.  See the 'feel good club' thread:

http://theabeforum.com/forum8/18530.html


As for me, I'm happy right now! SUCCESS!!!!

You go, girl!:beautiful:

Leslie
Super Moderator


Joined: Sun Sep 23rd, 2007
Location: Like A Rolling Stone
Posts: 2143
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Tue Jul 27th, 2010 02:13 am
 Quote  Reply 
Also--It's day 128! 

Honestly, what you are doing is work FOR LIFE. IMO, it has nothing to do with Art school or not Art School, really, this is what we are ALL working on, if you know what I mean.

Getting happy. Getting so good at controlling our vibration that things just work out for us.
And they always do.

xoxooxoxox
L::rainbow

PS It's GOOD if your pictures don't look like anyone else's! That is what makes you special! Tiffany Blue, I think you are wonderful. I have loved your focus wheels.  I enjoy your energy on the Forum SO MUCH. And I'm so happy to see someone your age, getting this stuff--it inspires me.

TheDonutWhisperer
Member


Joined: Sun Mar 7th, 2010
Location: Florida USA
Posts: 116
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Tue Jul 27th, 2010 02:54 am
 Quote  Reply 
tiffany blue wrote: I was walking back from lunch with a group of classmates when the guy from the art supply store was outside grabbing a quick cigarette. He was leaned against the wall, one leg on the building, flicking the ash off the end of a cigarette, when he looked up through his aviator sunglasses and grinned at me and gave me a "hey I remember you, how are you?" nod. I smiled back, hesitated like I was about to stop and talk with him, but didn't due to a flood of "what would I say!?!?".
It was sooo a la James Dean that I could have died satisfied.

 

I can sooooo see you walking with friends....... then u see him...... (slow-mo)  you glance..... he speaks..... you smile....

You're living a wonderful life...

:kiss:

tiffany blue
Member
 

Joined: Sun Nov 30th, 2008
Location: My Own Little World, USA
Posts: 577
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Tue Jul 27th, 2010 03:06 am
 Quote  Reply 
Leslie, you are the sweetest! That thread was so fun to read, especially as time went on and the beautiful breakthroughs happen! Thank you

:kiss:

DonutWhisperer, I LOVE MY LIFE right now. I know I'm in the vortex because I'm temporarily low on cash and instead of crying and whining I remembered how I manifested 135 dollars in my account overnight just by declaring "Universe, you're my accountant...make it work". And I've been thinking of Art Supply Guy for hours now without a single bad thought in this pretty little head. It's a nice change, I love the ebb and flow.

Leslie
Super Moderator


Joined: Sun Sep 23rd, 2007
Location: Like A Rolling Stone
Posts: 2143
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Tue Jul 27th, 2010 05:27 am
 Quote  Reply 
tiffany blue wrote: "Universe, you're my accountant...make it work"::LOL::LOL::LOL
You are so wonderful!

Deester
Member


Joined: Sun Feb 15th, 2009
Location: Sunny Sydney, Australia
Posts: 1267
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Tue Jul 27th, 2010 12:18 pm
 Quote  Reply 
Leslie wrote: tiffany blue wrote: "Universe, you're my accountant...make it work"::LOL::LOL::LOL
You are so wonderful!

I second that Leslie, absolutely brilliant! I'm borrowing that Tiffany Blue , you wise young soul, you!!!

Fireball
Member
 

Joined: Mon Feb 22nd, 2010
Location:  
Posts: 453
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Tue Jul 27th, 2010 08:49 pm
 Quote  Reply 
Deester wrote: Leslie wrote: tiffany blue wrote: "Universe, you're my accountant...make it work"::LOL::LOL::LOL
You are so wonderful!

I second that Leslie, absolutely brilliant! I'm borrowing that Tiffany Blue , you wise young soul, you!!!

I totally agree with Leslie and Deester!

tiffany blue
Member
 

Joined: Sun Nov 30th, 2008
Location: My Own Little World, USA
Posts: 577
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Wed Jul 28th, 2010 12:05 am
 Quote  Reply 
You guys are making me look even more insane than I already appear, as I'm sitting here typing on my laptop and grinning like the cheshire cat! My roommate is peering at me, befuddled, but I don't CARE!

Today was interesting. I'm done with this program on friday and I'm basically stunned at my growth. Not only as an artist, but as a PERSON. I've weeded out so man preferences from this experience and I feel like more of a success than ever, even if my paintings aren't the most amazing.

Completeing my mural later will be fun. It's a conceptual representation of me and I love the robust, luxurious curves of my figure that I've translated onto the page. I love the calla lilies- they add an explosive element while still capturing the soft way I see the world. I love the quote best of all, though. "Every wall is a door" by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I feel like my painting class started out as a wall. I subscribed to all the bull of "Oh, I've never painted before, I can't do this, I'm newww". Today I just went crazy and did whatever the heck I wanted. My painting looks absolutely nothing like the others but it's in the very best way. They all seem so safe while mine feels like the kid in class that might have had too much caffeine and too little sleep. ...that's true. EVEN STILL, I love the pure daring that shows in my painting. Oh, and I love how I'm learning techniques from the masters of painting like Renoir and Rembrandt and Durer and that other guy whose name starts with a V...

::LOL

I don't know. I'm just proud. The world bursted my comfortable little bubble and instead of hiding under a rock, I sat on the rock...did focus wheels...cried a bit...and got of the friggin rock to enjoy myself. Oh no, I'm making analogies like my painting teacher.

It's been a good day.



OH! And as I was SO in the vortex, chatting up my sister on my lunch break, I see art store guy again, in his sexy white v-neck tshirt and sunglasses And he passes right by me and smiles wide and says hello! I don't wanna get all "Fred" on you guys, but I will say that' I'd definitely enjoy every minute of having him consistently in my experience...

I'm off to daydream and nap.

Evey
Member


Joined: Fri Aug 7th, 2009
Location: Orlando, Florida USA
Posts: 2666
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Wed Jul 28th, 2010 01:14 am
 Quote  Reply 
::stardust:kiss:::stardust::LOL::hearts AWESOME TIFFANY....all of it, including Fred!

tiffany blue
Member
 

Joined: Sun Nov 30th, 2008
Location: My Own Little World, USA
Posts: 577
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Thu Jul 29th, 2010 12:12 am
 Quote  Reply 
Today was SUCH a mixed bag but looking back on it, that's exactly what I came here for. Putting my mural up on the wall was incredible, especially as I watched my brainchild become this real, tangible, viewable THING. It's beautiful.

Lunch was so peaceful, I read Love in the Time of Cholera at a starbucks in my favorite airy pants and it was awesome. When I got cold, I moved to a park bench in full sun. When I began to steam/bake, I went to my class and read in the hallway. Then I changed and got ready to prepare my painting surfaces when I remembered that I forgot newspaper... Instantly thoughts of art supply guy popped into my head, but I felt aloof about it. If I saw him, awesome, if I didn't, that's awesome too. So I rode the elevator down and fast-walked out of the school's doors and there he is, chatting with a coworker during his lunch break. As I passed I received a double take of recognition and a wide smile-ed "hello!" and I returned the smile and coyly said hi from under my eyelashes. I was practically giggling as I crossed 2 streets to get to the free newspaper stands. On the way back I cross him on the street as he's making his way to wherever and he says hello to me again, comfortably and happily.

Painting class was confusing and semi-disastrous but I just gave up and kept painting. And my teacher, of course, loved it after that. I'm starting to feel (on the 2nd to last day of class) that when I don't try I yield the best work.

After class I was yearning for another taste of art supply guy and decided a coordinated meeting would be too slow so I decided to go to his store and ask for something I didn't need. I was sorely disappointed because he wasn't there of course, so I grumbled my way back to the dorms on the other side of town. I attracted inconsiderate, dirty roommates who used my things and didn't put them back.

I got dinner, which was tasty and soothing, and after my other suitemates left, my actual roomie and I vented our numerous mutual frustrations from our classes, and I felt a lot better. I was back to even laughing again.

Now, I've just listened to the "Is this the 'right' relationship?" video. I love it! It held so many of the answers I was looking for. And I'm just looking back at my ups and downs and I'm glad I don't freak out and let it spiral very far. It's no longer fun to subscribe to the drama. Feeling GOOD is the prime goal for me and I hate when I DON'T feel good. It's unnatural to me now. And that's an accomplishment.

And I'm just happy that more and more I'm using my knowledge and power to feel better and make right OF the situation instead of focusing on how much it's NOT right. I'm breathing, I'm getting there, and I can see the light at the end of my tunnel.

tiffany blue
Member
 

Joined: Sun Nov 30th, 2008
Location: My Own Little World, USA
Posts: 577
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Thu Jul 29th, 2010 12:19 am
 Quote  Reply 
Oh, and I love the consistent results. I've never once been in the vortex and had a horrible experience with romance. And I've never once been out of the vortex and gotten lavished in love. I appreciate that this is always, without a doubt, how it works. There's no guessing...it just is what it is.

tiffany blue
Member
 

Joined: Sun Nov 30th, 2008
Location: My Own Little World, USA
Posts: 577
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Fri Jul 30th, 2010 07:00 am
 Quote  Reply 
UGH I'm so at like... (checks emotional guidance scale) ANGER and DISCOURAGEMENT. I just want to just stop it all right here. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be good at everything you DON'T want to do? I aced standardized testing. I'm a great writer for my age. I'm good at math. I'm a great linear thinker. I evaluate people and gauge emotions so sensitively. I can draw figures with such empathy. I can paint with daring and fervor that's unusual for someone who's never painted. I can put together a cabinet by myself. I can assemble pretty much anything from instructions only. I can drive like I've been doing it for years. I can do a whole sh*tload of things...


except take compelling photos. And that hurts. My dream, my ideal is to take photographs that EVOKE something. Photos that draw emotion out of people. And right now I'm taking stupid photos of puppies and flowers. My photographs scream scream scream "amateur!!!". I saw the scholarship worthy photos and you know what? I can't do that. I just can't. I don't take photos like that. THEIR photos make you curious and inquisitive and draw you in in in. Mine go "Oh, hey I'm a photo. Go look at something cooler than me cause you can find this anywhere"

Focus wheel feels out of the vortex. Right now all I want to do is sort of cry and rethink my life. Yep. Sounds good.

But I have to say 1 out of 6 isn't a bad record for OOTV days.


 Current time is 05:26 pm
Page:    1  2  Next Page Last Page  


 

 




Powered by WowBB 1.7 - Copyright © 2003-2006 Aycan Gulez