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Abraham-Hicks Discussion > Forums > Success Stories and Manifestations > Appreciating the crap out of your partner as a practice of Self Love! :)

Appreciating the crap out of your partner as a practice of Self Love! :)
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AppreciateNow
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 Posted: Sat Apr 10th, 2010 12:37 am
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I am in love. ::hearts

I am so in alignment with my one true love, my inner being, that my entire body seems bursting with joy and laughter. I am sharing this love & joy with the sweetest man I've ever met. This story is about our coming together and how I unexpectedly experienced unconditional love for myself.

I met Mark from San Diego (SD) on my first Abe cruise to the Mexican Riviera this January. We hung out together in a group of six without even realising each other to be gay at first. To be honest, I never intended on starting anything with him as I didn't think I'd be interested in a holiday romance or long distance relationship, nor was I that attracted to him initially.

I soon began to feel just what an incredibly sweet man he is. After the cruise, all six of us travelled back to SD together and as part of staying with different group members, I spent a weekend at Mark's. We had so much fun & laughter! We were so playful together we acted like two school boys! ::tramp

Over my 10 week US trip of two Abe cruises ::boatwave, a mindfulness practice retreat ::ohm and visiting my sister in San Fran, despite my rational decision not to return, signposts of synchronicity and my intuition lead me back to him twice more. Not only would magical things happen when we were together, (such as being invited to experience the F18 Flight Simulator on the Marine Corps Airbase where fighter pilots are trained or seeing fish jump out of water the first time we held hands in public walking around Mission Bay etc.), I experienced over those two days, two weeks and then another week such joy & intimacy like I had never done before.

Two days after my return to Sydney, I became even clearer about our special connection and started telling my family & friends about Mark. I also made it official on my Facebook profile to an overwhelmingly loving response: I am in a relationship again after being happily single for 8 years! ::woohoo

I must say the process of opening up to him taught me so much more about the power of, as I call it, 'appreciating the crap out of someone' ::LOL despite my initial concerns about his attributes that were different to my ideal partner's list (that I was convinced I placed in my vibrational escrow ::chin)! It was also totally comical that he seemed to have combined some of the 'shortcomings' of my previous two partners that used to drive me up the wall.::devil

But instead of asking why I had attracted such a 'mismatch' of a partner as I would've done in the past, I was so determined to see the best in him in order to feel good - especially as I was freshly inspired by my big insight on the first cruise: regardless of others' words and actions, I am determined not to be distracted from what I know about who they really are!

I also knew if I kept appreciating him, my 'ideal partner' would eventually turn up as a happy outcome, whether it would be him or someone else. Miraculously and of course also naturally, he started to soften and change around some of these 'shortcomings' without me saying a word! :) I was also able to see what an amazing allower he is (not the least of the evidence was allowing someone like ME into his life)! ::LOL

Most importantly, I have been given a golden opportunity to experience my own power of focus. By appreciating Mark despite his current reality, I also allowed LOA to let me see more and more of the best in me! It is a practical definition of unconditional love that is solely centred in Self.

As we enjoy our daily skype of laughter, kisses & naughtiness :kiss:, I am so happy that I am able to think of Mark and feel so much warm and fuzzy love, instead of the yearning of missing him. I look forward to splitting my year between Sydney and USA, plus traveling elsewhere at this stage and can't wait to see how things would unfold.

Sharing with you all my joy in expanding ease,

Joyous John

ps. Thanks to Evey, this story grew out of my reply to her request on my other thread of "Living the rest of my life as one long holiday, all on the house/universe! lol" [http://www.theabeforum.com/forum2/16653.html]

Deester
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 Posted: Sat Apr 10th, 2010 01:13 am
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What a wonderful story John - thank you so much for sharing - there is so much I just LOVE about this, on so many levels::woohoo

richardfranklinmorse
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 Posted: Sat Apr 10th, 2010 07:47 am
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Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, love stories are the best!
::cool

Leslie
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 Posted: Sat Apr 10th, 2010 07:59 am
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:beautiful:::TU:kiss:I love this love story!  Your ONE TRUE LOVE,  your inner being! and looking for the best in others. Can't wait to see you here on this continent again, and meet Mark!
It's beautiful.

Yay You!!!!

AppreciateNow
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 Posted: Sat Apr 10th, 2010 08:18 am
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Thanks Deester. Another Sydneysider... how exciting? Email me if you wish to connect locally. J :)

flyingfree
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 Posted: Sat Apr 10th, 2010 08:41 am
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Joyous John thanks for sharing a great start to my day I now have a smile on my face!

 

:kiss:

DianaLeigh
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 Posted: Sat Apr 10th, 2010 03:09 pm
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John,

First of all YAY for you!  Your stories are some of the most inspiring I have ever heard, and this one is no exception.   So beautiful and powerful.

I got chills when I read this:

"regardless of others' words and actions, I am determined not to be distracted from what I know about who they really are"

How great to remember that!  That is my new mission, and I'm going to picture your smiling, laughing face every time I do!

I also loved the part about defining unconditional love as a selfish thing.  How mind-expanding that is!

I can't wait to cross paths with you again, perhaps on another cruise, and see you & Mark together.  So much love is everywhere!   ::hearts

BeautifulSoul
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 Posted: Sat Apr 10th, 2010 05:28 pm
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John this story is so inspirational and sooo YOU!!! Thank you for the lessons you continue to teach!!

Lots of love............ Nomanono

 

 

LaughingWolf/CourageousSun
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 Posted: Sat Apr 10th, 2010 10:32 pm
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AppreciateNow wrote: By appreciating Mark despite his current reality, I also allowed LOA to let me see more and more of the best in me!
Joyous John, I adore your story! I love that your story and my story yesterday were so similar - it's beautiful.

And I'm greedy and I really really want to hear more. If you would be so wonderful as show us your thought process, from what you saw that you didn't like at first and how you went from seeing stuff unwanted to appreciating the crap out of him, I would really really love it!

It is so wonderful and fun and uplifting to hear others doing what you want to do and want to get better at. I love your stories and I love that I attracted you and a bunch of other happy, free, retired, cruising people into my life. I can only imagine and blissfully anticipate what this means for my own near future. YEAH!!!!

Radiant Rebecca

AppreciateNow
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 Posted: Sun Apr 11th, 2010 01:23 am
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Hey RR,

I love hearing you say you are greedy! Isn't it exciting to be clear in wanting more and more and more of what uplifts us!? ::tramp

As I'd mentioned, my biggest insight from the first cruise was: regardless of others' words and actions, I am determined not to be distracted from what I know about who they really are! I actually had tears as Esther said it on stage and felt an energy shift within me. Shortly after, my interactions facing an upset friend gave me even more confidence in applying this insight.

I love that my 'thought process' is not so much choosing thoughts but viscerally connecting to Source first. I might've shared this with you on the cruise, something happened to me at the gym two years ago that became my personal way of connecting to Source: I was totally present in my body as I began lifting a barbell. I casually noticed my weight in the soles of my feet then all of a sudden, BAM, this energy shot up through my feet to fill my entire my body and beyond as if they were plugged into the power socket! ::rocket

Ever since that day, any moment I remember to notice where my weight is supported (e.g. right now, my bum on the seat, my back leaning into the back of the chair and my feet on the floor), I relax into remembering there is absolutely nothing I need do to 'hold myself up' or 'strive to achieve' but my universe that is the larger ME supports me unwaveringly and completely. I would then feel energy coursing through my body with tingling all over and goose bumps. Especially as I have practised this intensely in the last 20 months to follow my intuition, I can do this anytime anywhere and have goose bumps at will as my party trick. :)

Anyway, I would connect to Source this way first and then often, the positive feeling thoughts just pop up by themselves, instead of me having to find them. When I was facing my upset friend, I was already connected to Source this way and then my spontaneous focus of about a foot above her head while maintaining eye contact just happened. It intensified my feeling of energy both within and expanding from my body. So since that night on the cruise, my 'process' of seeing someone I'm facing as they really are has been enhanced by adding this focus as well. I hope this makes sense.

By the way, I had no idea I would share with you this much detail! I think I'll start shortly a new thread out of this response to both share and find out how others connect to Source viscerally. I'd imagine everyone has a different way and mine relates to my mindfulness training. So thanks for asking, Rebecca!

Okay, now back to my beautiful Mark (Awww... ::LOL). Let's see, a good example of how I dealt with the unwanted in him would be: the first time I walked into his apartment even before I was interested in dating him, I was shocked (a little dramatic I know) to see just how incredibly cluttered it was! He apologised for the mess and started to talk in a way about himself that was not helpful. I simply reassured him it's fine and proceeded to connect to Source sitting on the couch.

Then a few days later when I stayed with him (btw the old me would never have stayed with him in the first place as I am a clean & tidy minimalist), I woke up the first morning amidst piles & buckets of clothing surrounding the bed... I connected to Source first and then thoughts started to come such as how much I appreciated feeling at ease with him, how fortunate I was to have people to stay with while I was in a foreign country ::group, wasn't it wonderful that he had easy access to clothing laying right before him etc... I really started to appreciate his clutter to the surprising amusement of my rational mind! This was about a week after my first cruise and I felt SO GOOD that I could again experience myself in this way.

I stayed with Mark for two nights and went on with my trip. Two weeks later when I came back to see him, he had already cleared a fair amount of his clutter in the living space and two days later, he asked for my help in sorting through his clothing in the bedroom. We took 9 huge garbage bags of clothing to a charity that day! This all happened without me saying much about his clutter situation at all.

There were also many other examples. Of course there were times when I'd catch myself thinking about the unwanted in him and whether I want to 'put up with it' etc. I'd journal about it to firstly become aware of what I was telling myself. I've really noticed I must fully accept where I was first (or as Esther would say: make peace with where I was) and then proceed to relax and connect to Source... only then would better feeling thoughts start to come and before long, I'd be in the vortex again.

As I mentioned, there were 6 of us hanging out on the first cruise. When I caught up with one of them during my second visit in San Diego (soon after Mark and I first had sex, and therefore with the possibility of us seeing each other at its fragile infancy), he kept mentioning all the challenges Mark faced as four of them are in the same LOA support group. ::chin It turned out later that he had his ulterior motive in doing this but I didn't let it affect me. I guess I was very familiar with this way of approaching improvement through effort & hard work as I had tried it for many years myself. ::devil So I'd connect to Source, become aware of that point above his head and feel SO exhilarated within to be seeing & feeling his bigger self and mine. I also felt so appreciative of this guy for giving me the opportunity to experience myself in this quietly and almost cheekily powerful way to focus on good feelings. It was also my interaction with him that strengthened my determination and gave me the term to 'appreciate the crap out of Mark!' ::LOL

So once again, Radically Ridiculously Radiant Rebecca, I love your asking. I also look forward to hearing more about your personal ways to connect to Source viscerally.

Including you in my gigantic expanding laughing balloon,

Joyous John ::hearts

happygrl
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 Posted: Sun Apr 11th, 2010 01:48 am
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AppreciateNow wrote: I would then feel energy coursing through my body with tingling all over and goose bumps. Especially as I have practised this intensely in the last 20 months to follow my intuition, I can do this anytime anywhere and have goose bumps at will as my party trick. :)
Ooooohhh I LOVE this!! For the past few months, I have been getting goose bumps too! It's just like this - first I notice that I have what feels like Source energy flowing through my body - just an incredible joyous feeling - and then the goose bumps! I absolutely LOVE that feeling! In fact, I love it so much that I TRY to do it at will, but I have not been able to perfect it as you have - but I will!! Soon!!!

Love your posts JJ! Very inspirational.

::heartsHG

AppreciateNow
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 Posted: Sun Apr 11th, 2010 02:35 am
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You Go HappyGirl! Love it! Let me know how you get on. John :kiss:

Fireball
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 Posted: Sun Apr 11th, 2010 06:28 am
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Joyous John,

I absolutely love your relationship with Source. You are such an inspiration! It is so clear from your words and your lifestyle that you are deeply deeply connected with Source and with who you really are.

I am in the beginning stages of this knowing and it feels so good to be ONE with Source. Not just my IB, but ALL of it, all of Source. Your trust and love and dedication to Source is touching and inspiring and lovely to see.

You mentioned perhaps starting another thread about how we feel and connect to Source viscerally. I had a similar experience to you 3 months ago. I was laying down with my daughter as she drifted off to sleep and I quieted my mind with a few thoughts and then I thought about a desire I have been focusing on for awhile and I thought, "Why do I want this?" Immediately, and I mean immediately, before the thought was finished being formed, I heard the answer from my IB, which was, "I want to feel an explosion of expansion". I knew this was from my IB because of the speed of the thought and because of the "odd" phrasing of the words.

Anyway, immediately I felt my body being filled as if I was a balloon. I started breathing deeper because I felt that my lungs were expanding and I had to accomodate the expansion. Later, I heard Esther describe her first experience with Abraham and she described it as "something breathing me". That's exactly how it felt to me as well. So then of course, that scared the s**t out of me because I wasn't ready for that intimate connection.

I haven't felt that same "breathing me" sensation again. Like happygrl said, I've been trying to feel it again but I realize that i've been resistant to it as well.

Well, now I'm ready to connect to Source fully and completely in the here and now. As me, Lisa, here in this physical body in this lifetime. I am ready to be the god of my universe, the god of my life, the god of my creation. It feels sooooooo good!!!!

Lisa

giggle fritz
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 Posted: Sun Apr 11th, 2010 10:20 am
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But instead of asking why I had attracted such a 'mismatch' of a partner as I would've done in the past, I was so determined to see the best in him in order to feel good - especially as I was freshly inspired by my big insight on the first cruise: regardless of others' words and actions, I am determined not to be distracted from what I know about who they really are!

I really appreciate this portion of what you said because I have found this to be true for me. When I don't do this I feel the vortex fling me out and I have to feel my way back.
  I have also discovered someone that I can just lavish unconditional love on and am realizing that I am so doing this for me! (it must be because they keep telling me they are not in love with me)::LOL
   Abe is right, I can take the bounce::tramp say "hey thanks for the expansion" and get back to the vortex.
I don't really care what they think when I am in the vortex. I have every opinion I want in the vortex. I now get that the negative emotion is all about me not keeping up with me! That that is reality!!!!  Keeping up with my expansion is my reality::singer I finally realize that I am the only one saying no to what I want. When I am in my vortex I am irresistible and I only have joy to give, I can see the gift that contrast really is and it really is true .... as abe says I so get unconditional love that I don't need you to do it!!! I am in charge of me, I get unconditional love and I love you so much I don't care what you think! ::wow::downstream
   You cannot match the connection I have with myself and you are not looking for me to give you anything but an example of the joy that you feel your inner being feeling for you. ::hearts
   For my partner I have to remember - it will never be about me making them happy or them doing things to make me happy but the contrast I see about them is just the gift I can appreciate to find my vortex.
    ::singer This reminds me of Sara Ramirez singing "I will follow" on you tube.... I listen and hear her channeling my IB to me through this tune.... Now that's in the vortex for me!!!! Gotta love the universe giving me what I want in abundance!!!::woohoo::rocket

Free Flowing Joy 2
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 Posted: Sun Apr 11th, 2010 05:11 pm
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WOW.  WOW.  I am happily single also, in love with my IB and enjoying her being my playmate. I don't normally find myself attracted to the posts here talking about relationships other than with Inner Being. 

However, WOW, this is one and the same.  WOW.  

::music

::tramp::group

Ruth

Stacey
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 Posted: Sun Apr 11th, 2010 06:33 pm
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DianaLeigh wrote: John,

First of all YAY for you!  Your stories are some of the most inspiring I have ever heard, and this one is no exception.   So beautiful and powerful.

I got chills when I read this:

"regardless of others' words and actions, I am determined not to be distracted from what I know about who they really are"

How great to remember that!  That is my new mission, and I'm going to picture your smiling, laughing face every time I do!

I also loved the part about defining unconditional love as a selfish thing.  How mind-expanding that is!

I can't wait to cross paths with you again, perhaps on another cruise, and see you & Mark together.  So much love is everywhere!   ::hearts
John!! I want to echo Diana Leigh here. What she said...:exactly::exactly:

And I am so happy that you posted this thread with the title "Appreciating the crap out of your partner as a practice of Self Love!" You said that to me through facebook and I haven't been able to get it out of my head since. And I've been practicing it in my life as well and have watched love open up for me too! I am beginning a relationship with a friend of mine who has been in my life for 7 months now. We weren't a vibrational match before and she didn't match my long list of requirements for my beloved either. ::LOL

But I decided that there's no harm in appreciating the crap out of someone, so I tried it with her. And am now entering the healthiest relationship I've ever had. I truly feel Abe's words of "I like you and we'll see." I am completely 100% me, with her, which is a first for me in relationships. It feels so good to not try to be someone I'm not in order to make the relationship work. And by seeing/feeling her accept me as me, I am accepting myself as me too. :beautiful: And it's really beautiful to see who I am in a relationship, as I've been single for years, with the exception of a few week or month long flings here and there. I am so affectionate and loving and I absolutely love that. I love being the lover that I am. It's who I am to my core. And it feels so good to unleash that side of me.

I have no clue what's in store for us and I really don't care. I like her and want good things for her. And I like me and want good things for me too. So, I'm just going to stay focused on what I want and "appreciate the crap" out of her and everyone else in my life and see if the universe keeps lining us up.

Much much love to you dear John!! I absolutely adore you!
Stacey
 

mikeh
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 Posted: Sun Apr 11th, 2010 06:45 pm
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This is such a beautiful thread! ::hearts::hearts  It seems that quite a few of us are entering into wonderful relationships-- Spring is a magical time :)

This thread couldn't have come at a more perfect time.  I've been in the long process of healing a relationship and attracting a specific person back into my life after some pretty major contrast between us several months back.  Yesterday we spent a wonderful afternoon together after not seeing/speaking to each other for 3 months and I can definitely tell that something beautiful is going to unfold soon.  But I've also realized that I've "graduated" from working on a relationship from afar to being in contact with the person and working on it face to face.  It's a completely different and thrilling adventure.  You're so right-- it's all about appreciating the crap out of them and seeing them as Source sees them. 

 I can't wait to hear more from you John!! I also can't wait to see how this new chapter in my life unfolds.  I feel so fortunate and blessed to have a "do-over".  The last time my guy and I were around each other I didn't have much knowledge or practice of Abe and I realize now that I was pushing too much and acting needy, desperate, etc.   NOW, I realize how worthy I am and how much that truly means.  I also have a plethora of Abe knowledge to finally put into practice and just feel so relaxed about the whole thing.   And above all, I finally understand what unconditional love really is-- and I love him so much.

It's a beautiful time ::hugging

Michael::hearts

Last edited on Sun Apr 11th, 2010 06:46 pm by mikeh

LaughingWolf/CourageousSun
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 Posted: Mon Apr 12th, 2010 04:51 am
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Oh John, that was beautiful. I am so glad I asked! Thank you from the bottom of my vortexy heart!

RR

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 Posted: Mon Apr 12th, 2010 04:01 pm
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giggle fritz wrote: 

  Keeping up with my expansion is my reality::singer I finally realize that I am the only one saying no to what I want. When I am in my vortex I am irresistible and I only have joy to give, I can see the gift that contrast really is and it really is true .... as abe says I so get unconditional love that I don't need you to do it!!! I am in charge of me, I get unconditional love and I love you so much I don't care what you think! ::wow::downstream
   You cannot match the connection I have with myself and you are not looking for me to give you anything but an example of the joy that you feel your inner being feeling for you. ::hearts
   For my partner I have to remember - it will never be about me making them happy or them doing things to make me happy but the contrast I see about them is just the gift I can appreciate to find my vortex.
    ::singer


Giggle Fritz - I love what you wrote here! I had lots of contrast with DH recently and this is a great reminder of how to look at it! Thank you!!::hugging

Joyous John - thank you again for a Source view on relationships. I've read your posts again in light of my contrast. Love it!::hugging


AppreciateNow
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 Posted: Mon Apr 12th, 2010 05:43 pm
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WOW! Richard, Leslie, Flyingfree, Diana, Nomanono, Lisa, Gigglefritz, Ruth, Stacey & Michael, I am so overwhelmingly inspired by your replies and would love to respond more fully soon.

Right now, I am packing up my sold apartment in Sydney to clear out within 24 hours and will be 'homeless' for a while, visiting family & friends before I return :) to San Diego to stay with Mark in May ::hugging prior to the Alaskan cruise in July.... so excited!

Sharing with you, and all around you, my juicily spine-tingling Source sauce of expanding ease & joy,

jOhn O O O :kiss:


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