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Abraham-Hicks Discussion > Forums > Abraham-Hicks Teachings and You > Trying to receive forgiveness from my ex. Help!

Trying to receive forgiveness from my ex. Help!
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dancr13
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Joined: Sun Aug 15th, 2010
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 Posted: Mon Aug 16th, 2010 04:20 am
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About 4 months ago, my ex and I broke up because I was unsure of things. We were about to graduate college and were talking about moving in together, and a mix of my parents recent termoil along with some issues we were having (that I never brought up) started to build on me, and when I brought up my insecurities, my ex said we couldn't be together until I was sure of what I wanted. I went back and forth so many times that finally he had enough, and now we've been apart for 4 months and not only have I realized what the problem was and how it could of been solved, I realized how truly in love with him I am and I don't want to give that up.

Unfortunately, he's begun hanging out with another girl (although he's insisted to me they are not boyfriend-girlfriend exclusive) and she is about to go back to college 2 hours away to finish her last year. My ex lives one block away from me with my cousin/roommate's boyfriend, so we see each other a LOT. We have talked a lot about what went wrong and he's still VERY upset with me and very hurt. He says he's moved on in some ways but he's still very distraught over what happened and has said to me a few times how he can't help but think how if things went differently we'd still be together. He is also starting to see me go out and have fun now (I was a big mess for the last few months) and has been talking about how he wants to know if I'm seeing anyone, and all the sudden it's become very hard to hang around me (I think him seeing me happy and back to normal but not his girlfriend is hard now). We also went camping with friends last night and he invited me to share his tent -- although we didn't get intimate at all he kept asking how I was doing and rubbed my head when I told him I had a headache. Little things like that are assuring me that he still does love me...the only problem is he needs to forgive me for being so fickle a few months ago.

I completely know the power of my influence once I've aligned with my source and understand that I need to continue thinking positively to keep progress coming. Thinking positively has manifested some seriously great things lately -- even if it's just him texting me after hanging out in a group saying "I don't like to see you text" aka he doesn't like to think of me texting some other guy. My main goal right now is to receive his forgiveness and show him how truly sorry I am and I would love to hear any advice anyone may have on this. I've worked very hard on myself and feel like I've come miles from where I was, and I know I need to also forgive myself, but it is so hard for me to completely forgive myself when I see how truly hurt he still is over this and he is the one I am in love with.

Anyway, I know he's the one I'm going to marry. I have no doubt that we will be together. I just would love some help on this issue...the mere thought of any occaision that occurred in those few weeks of our breakup can still bring me to tears, and does almost every day :( Help!

dina13
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Joined: Tue Mar 16th, 2010
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 Posted: Mon Aug 16th, 2010 05:01 am
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Dear Dancr13,

Universe is a big mirror of you, of your own emotions. So once you completely forgive yourself, he'll do that too. But while you still feel the guilt - you can't fully allow the Well Being in. Release that. You are in the process of growth. If you did everything "right" in the first place, you wouldn't have had a chance to understand Who You Are. Come from a place of total acceptance and love of yourself, and as you feel more relaxed and joyful, his attitude toward you will reflect that.

TheXception
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 Posted: Mon Aug 16th, 2010 08:19 am
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dancr13 wrote: my ex said we couldn't be together until I was sure of what I wanted.
A fair request, but now you are sure.  Does he know that?  If yes, what is it exactly that is preventing your reunion?

dancr13
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 Posted: Mon Aug 16th, 2010 02:21 pm
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Thanks Dina and The Xception! Xception -- That's the problem right now. Whenever asked if we will be back together or be able to work it out, he's the one now to say "I can't say one way or another." However, just by evaluating his actions toward me and what he says sometimes I know that the love and caring about me is still there. I am looking for a way to help him forgive me, and I realize that I must forgive myself first. Just not sure how to do that when he still holds so much resentment -- it hurts me so much to know that.

AbrahamFan29
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Joined: Wed Aug 11th, 2010
Location: In The Vortex, Manitoba Canada
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 Posted: Mon Aug 16th, 2010 03:19 pm
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Dancr13,

Hello!

I'm new to the boards so pardon me if I make unknown faux pas, I'm open for correction of responding technique ;)

Now on too what you've said...

I too know that in-between place where I don't know where I'm going and there's a fork in the road with way too many choices, and some of those choices are strongly affected by how much others want to intertwine their lives with me.

During those times I ask myself:

With or without this person I hope will join me in my endeavor, what does my future look like?

How do I want to spend my time? What kinds of things do I want to take up as hobbies to learn and expand my soul?

What do I want to prepare myself for, what do I want to eventually accomplish?

The best thing you can do is move forward without moving on.  The more straight and true your own vibration is about your goals and desires, the more magnetic you are to those around you.

And ultimately, if you can get into the Vortex and stay in the Vortex, even if you and your Ex don't get together again, you'll be HAPPY and will be attracting happy people to you, which bodes will for future friendships etc :)

Don't think about that last part too heavily if it depresses you, but if you can get into the Vortex and be okay with that statement, you'll release a lot of pressure off of both of you in the relationship as it stands, and be able to return to being the happy, fun-loving and creative person he fell in love with originally.

Last edited on Mon Aug 16th, 2010 03:22 pm by AbrahamFan29

MiAlma
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Joined: Fri May 7th, 2010
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 Posted: Mon Aug 16th, 2010 03:59 pm
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I don't see why you should feel guilty for expressing your true feelings to your ex.  In my opinion he should have been more understanding and wanting to help you clear your insecurities about the issues you had about your relationship.  May I ask you if your ex normally uses guilt as a way of getting you to do something that you didn't want to do? He may not be able to forgive you because he is not aligned with himself.  It has nothing to do with you.

I think you should use the EGS and see exactly where you are on the list and write about it and then go up one on the list and write about it until you feel relief.  Remember that your only job is to align with yourself.  His forgivenes is really irrelevant.  Work on your own relationship with yourself and then things will have to change to match your new vibration.  It is ok to feel guilty, how else would you know where you are at the moment? It is just an indicator of your current vibration.

footprints on my way
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 Posted: Mon Aug 16th, 2010 09:47 pm
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MiAlma,

you took the words out of my mouth...! I was thinking the same all along.

dancr13, I'd only want to be with a partner with whom I can be honest. And it is normal to feel insecure at times. Especially before moving together. Or even later. Long term couples also tell me, that there are times, when they are not so sure about their feelings for their partner.
So are they supposed to only talk about that with their friends or their therapist? Because their partner is gonna give them a really hard time because of their honesty...?

YOU DID WELL!!! And you have all the right of the world to expect him to understand and respect you and your feelings. As much as you try to understand his. If he is not able to do that, that is really his problem... and you are going to find a better match.. whilst having learned something yourself out of this experience.

Love to you::hugging

Anne


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